‘Giving up’ Is not an option!

Have you ever heard someone tell you that you are bad at something? Has anyone called you a loser? Has anyone made you feel you are worth nothing? This would have happened to everybody at least once in their lifetime. So if someone says you are fit for nothing or if they call you a loser what would you do? First thing, you’d hate that person. Secondly you’ll give up what you are up to. And then you feel low. At least this is what I would do.

It happened with me. I was complacent about being good at writing. I was on top of the world when my mom and friends said my articles and stories were really good. But then I had to face the harsh reality of how opinions differ. There were people who had talent unmatchable and spirit unbeatable; When such people read my articles they were forced to rate my articles on the scale of reality. And that’s when I felt sad, felt like a loser and even gave up. Here’s an account of what happened;

A few years ago fortunately or unfortunately or inadvertently or I don’t know why but I started writing stories. Later I started posting all my short stories, incidents, my thoughts almost everything in my blog. My first reader was my mom or my best friend. If they both approved of its quality and readability I would then pass the piece of work for authentication from a few of my acquaintances who have a great command over the language and are very eloquent (who I must add are nothing short of great writers).

One of such readers was a cousin of mine; my best critic. Every time I showed what I had written he would not say a good thing about it even by fluke. If anything remotely near to ‘good’ came from him, that would mean a great honor to me and to my work. I used to feel bad about his criticism. I had a blind certainty that whatever I wrote was great or at least worth reading. But that’d never been his opinion. The damage had happened to my confidence. I felt I’m not a writer’s breed. I felt like a loser. I felt that my articles were just dumb, muddled-up mixture of senseless jabber. . I got so frustrated being critiqued that one day I stopped writing.

After a long break of four months I got back to writing, not because I felt any better about myself just because writing had become a part of me without which I couldn’t survive. I wrote a story. I felt it was a great one. My mom read it and said it was a very good piece of work. “Oh my Gosh! It’s Wonderful” is what my buddies said. And now I had an urge to get an opinion from my cousin. By then he had gotten very busy in life that we weren’t keeping in touch as often as before. So I sent him my stories through mail. I was waiting for a reply from him. It was almost an examination for me. I was very eager to hear him say good things because this time I was so sure that my stories were pretty good or at least better.

Days passed, weeks passed but no luck. I didn’t get any reply from him. One day I caught him online for a chat and asked him about my stories. He said “yeah, I read them” and the desperate part of me jumped immediately thinking he’d say it was good. And I said “Oh! You found time to read! Good to know! So, what do you think?”

His reply was worse than I could ever imagine. He sent me a Wikipedia link. And said “This might help you”. The wiki article was about “how to write” for beginners. Something about “Simple English”. He added “Try with the tips first. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”. “What am i?! A Dumbass? Why did I ever get back to writing? What in the God’s name made me feel I’m any better than what I was just four months ago?” and so went my thoughts from sadness, to desperateness, to depression and finally to regret.

I read my stories again and again. But I couldn’t read it with his eyes; so keen on mistakes. I regretted trying to write. I even went on to the heights of hating myself for being such a loser. I had given up. But least expected was the outcome of whatever happened. The criticisms from him had worked wonders on me. I had become stronger. I had become more determined to better myself.

One day after a lot of preparation, a lot of reading and learning I wrote again. I wrote it like never before. I wrote with passion, zeal and obsession.. And Boom! People liked it. But I knew a perfectionist like my cousin’s kind was sure not to like it anyway. So this time I didn’t bother asking him about it. Nor did he ever come with any queries about my writing. He’d had his share of reading jabber (according to him).

But did I hate his criticism anymore! Hell, no! He was true to every word he said. My style was bad. My choice of words was bad. I didn’t have the right equipment. When I went through my older articles, I found it naïve and silly. It could have been way lot better than it was. I understood what he’d have felt about such writing. It wasn’t the worst. But it was not good for sure. i have been on a journey, since; A journey of learning. I have increased my vocabulary, worked on my grammar. I am not even close to being a good writer. But now, I’m not bad (I hope).

So dear readers, if you are to face criticisms, I suggest you not to neglect them if they come from the right person. At the same time, never give yourself an option of giving up. As Lance Armstrong said “Giving up was never an option” make that your motto. Criticisms are what make us better people. They shape us into a perfect person. At the same time, if a loser gives you an advice or criticizes you, don’t give a damn!

• Posted in: Inspirational
• Tagged: Criti, Criticism, Do not Give up